It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
