No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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