Redeem this text for a blowjob
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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