There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize