Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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