weddingsv make me drug and hornr
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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