just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
