I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
