hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
