its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
wow bdsm is so cute
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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