Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
