there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize