Can i not drive my cunt home
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
