We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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