i need an iv and a liver transplant
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
