this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My pussy is not your playground.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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