I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
