it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
