your thong is hanging out like whoa
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize