So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize