RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
