hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
