It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
