I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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