Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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