i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
