dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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