After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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