i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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