I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
