return my video game
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
