I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
