Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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