Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
