I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
