Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
