His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
