Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize