I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
