I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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