This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my vag is so smooth its legendary
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
