Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
