It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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