I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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