How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
