his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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