Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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