I want to walk on stilts...naked
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize