The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize