p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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