i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
