My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
