I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
only you would photoshop your dick
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
