is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize