I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
