Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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