there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
