Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
