Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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