I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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