You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
