i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I look better un-naked...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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