oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
