It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
