i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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