Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize