UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
