The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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