will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
