why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Damn victory sex feels great
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize