i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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