I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
