it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
