i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
