I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
True strength comes from lack of pants
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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