You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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