My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
